As some of you know, there are a number of Chet and Bernie short stories available in digital and audio form. SHORT TAILS, for example, is a collection of 3 of them. None are available in print form – BUT a few copies of the very first one, A CAT WAS INVOLVED (the C&B origin story) were printed for promotional purposes. Recently my office was repainted and although some things have disappeared others have done the opposite. In short, I have a few more copies of A CAT WAS INVOLVED than I’d thought. So how about a little contest, winner selected by the random number generator. Write something short about the funniest thing your dog has ever done. How does that sound? We’ll give this at least a couple of days.
Humor Me!
12 Comments on “Humor Me!”
Oh, my. Where to start? I’m sure I’ll think of plenty in the coming days because when it comes to getting an actual print copy of A Cat was Involved I can be very competitive.
Freyja has done some pretty outrageous things. I’m pretty sure she stole a ripe cantaloupe from the garden the first year. The day before I had planned to pick it. Then the following year a ripe cucumber disappeared. Pretty sure that was her as she was given to jumping into the raised bed planter but it is possible that while she stole it, Diana ate it.
The two of them play tag team while hunting mice. In the yard it isn’t so bad but when we were at my parent’s house and they had a rat problem those two were quite the team. More than once I had to move furniture and then there would be a flash of movement and the two of them would be tearing through the living room in pursuit of a rodent, only to have ti disappear under an immoveable entertainment center. Diana is slower than Freyja but the two of them have really worked on their form. Freyja has extremely interested in this hand me down rocker in the living room. I moved it a bit but that didn’t deter her. So I tipped it over and wouldn’t you know a rat leaped out and ran for cover. That chair was moved out of the house and sent to furniture heaven. Recently I was at my parent’s attaching a staghorn fern that had fallen to a new support and my sister and I were hanging it back up. The two dogs were extremely interested in the lawn buddy garden cart. I told my sister there was a rat in there and told her to wheel it a bit farther away from the wall to give the dogs some room. Then open it. The rat jumped practically into Diana’s mouth. She only had to turn her head a bit and snap. She is getting very quick. A little shake of her head and she turned and trotted off with her prize before we could do anything about it. I told my sister to just wait as she would lose interest fast as it “isn’t any fun any more”. Sure enough. Five minutes later my sister told me she had already disposed of the remains. Both of the dogs got bully stick rewards, even Dolly who did nothing.
Yeep! Is this trying to get a written confession of alleged misdeeds? Yeep!
Thieves. Advice of counsel — remember the I was in Philadelphia at the time defense. It covers a lot of misdeeds. I will also try to misdirect with some stories on my own incriminating Messrs. Wookie, Teddy and Casey and maybe even Casey (the story about Casey and the stash of corn cobs is an especially good one). More to come later.
That was supposed to be Wookie, Teddy and Franklin and maybe even Casey. Sorry.
I really can’t think of anything the dogs have done that was outright laugh out loud funny.
Now Ramses did invent his own game. The flower pot game. I was still working so not home to play fetch with him. I came home from work one day and he was playing with himself. (No, not that way, get your mind out of the gutter.) He was sticking his head in an empty black plastic nursery pot, flipping it up in the air, and then chasing it. It was fun to watch and he would even do it when I was there, sitting watching him. He had a thing for those black nursery pots. More than once he removed a newly bought plant, even though there were plenty of empty nursery pots to choose from, because THAT was the pot he wanted to play with. Everyone that owns a dog (or cat) knows there is no rhyme or reason for why they choose a particular toy. He also had tremendously good aim. No matter how small the new pot might be, he managed to maneuver right over it and drop a turd in the exact middle, right on top of the plant. I quickly learned to plant new acquires quickly before he had a chance to “christen” them. Once in the ground he didn’t care. And it’s not like there weren’t plenty of green spaces to use.
Jilly loves to invent new games, then teach me how to play them. Her favorite is to push her cherished red ball under a piece of furniture, then come get me to ‘rescue’ it for her. Aren’t dogs just the very best?
Diana only does this with mice. She will lay at the mouth of a den and then cry/whine for me to “get it for her” I have explained I will not dig out mice for her but to no effect. Freyja is silent and stealthy.
Rebecca: Franklin does exactly the same thing, under the sofa or sometimes under the fence in the back yard. I think it is a challenge test to see If he can get it back after putting it in a challenging spot, but of course if he can’t, he know that the dad guy will come to the rescue.
Where to begin. Let’s start with Casey and the ears of corn. However, you do need to know that Casey had been seriously abused before finding his forever home next door, as a result of which, he was always extremely food oriented. Debbie had been preparing a number of ears of corn for cooking one day (while Casey was staying with us) and must have stepped out of the kitchen for a couple of minutes, and when she came back, she thought she was some ears short, but figured she had just miscounted. But when we went into the dining room later that day, we saw four ears of corn under the table, one each nestled next to a leg of the table. There was also a tablecloth that hung low so there wasn’t great visibility on the floor, and we were sure that Casey was confident that he had securely hidden them, which he could then have in reserve if/when he might need them.
I am still coming across the occasional buried bone by Ramses. Caesar never buried them, nor did Goliath. Diana and Freyja don’t seem to do it either. But as mentioned Freyja is a scavenger and very sneaky at it. She was picked up off of the streets of Hesperia at about 1 year old so I have no idea of her history or how long she might have had to survive by guile and garbage. She did teach Diana to tip the trash cans so she could dig through them. That has pretty much stopped as now I put it directly in the bins with lids and they are too heavy and tall to tip. I do get a scolding if dinner is late.
Let’s go to Wookie next. A bit of background is necessary though. When trimming azalea bushes back, normally in the fall, it is recommended to put down bone meal as a growth supplement. Not a good idea however if you have a dog that might like bone meal. Wookie did and he apparently ate a lot of it. Unfortunately, bone meal can be very constipating in dogs, which is what happened to Wookie. It got so bad that we took him to the vet for treatment. One of the first things the vet did was to check his temperature rectally, which as they say, unclogged the log jam. However, Wookie had been well trained not to relieve himself in doors, so things got a little desperate. There was a big potted plant in the front lobby, which Wookie decided was close enough to being outdoors, so he backed into it and took care of business. It was quite funny at the time, although I don’t think the Wookster would agree.
Not sure the vet staff would agree either, but I suppose they have cleaned up worse.
Oh, I think you win.
Caesar got backed up a bit, didn’t go for three days. I wasn’t as knowledgable in dog ownership as I am now. So I took a garden hose and put it on a very gentle stream and I held it to the region where it would be most effective. A doggy enema as it were. He objected at first but then calmed down and soon was relieved of his discomfort, but at least in the back yard.
Diana and Freyja’s taste in gardening maintenance took a more dangerous turn. I was spreading snail bait (thankfully the “safe” kind) and they were following me, trying to eat the individual granules off of the ground. I had used most of the box and didn’t put it away well enough for one of them not to get ahold of it. I found the box torn up and the remaining contents spilled and mostly eaten. Not sure which one, could have been either or both. But upon some research not enough to cause either of them harm given the amount and their weight. But the vet did do a blood test check up just to make sure. I have no idea what it was in snail bait that was so delicious, but I suspect it is some sort of grain base. I’ve never done bone meal but if I should ever have occasion, I will make sure to dig it into the ground first.